Goat Simulator review

Goat Simulator is an open world sandbox in the truest since of the word. There are no objectives, no story and not even the possibility of death. Just you and three large maps to explore and cause havoc in. As the name implies you play as a goat that escaped from it’s pen. He is far from a normal goat though as he can run on walls, has an incredibly stick tongue and is incapable of death despite being near explosions or falling down absurd heights. This demigoat has no goals and is content just griefing the people that cross its path. The locations it comes across are all very strange and feature aliens, protesting of genital shaped food and a ton of memes. It is a very strange game that relies on you to make your own fun and gives you a comical world to explore with over the top rag-doll physics and tons of secret powers for your goat.

Goat Simulator parachute

Most of the fun comes from how over the top and wacky everything is as well as finding tons of easter eggs. You will never know what to expect around the corner and it is a ton of fun interacting with all the objects like tiny bottle rockets. The goat also has the power to slow down time so you can see the destruction you brought in slow motion. Completing small random events like winning in a goat sumo match for example grants your goat super strength and that is probably the most sane power. Others let you summon blocks from Minecraft, get a grappling hook or even lets you make goats to rain out of the sky. Bicycles are ride-able even though you are a goat though controlling it is near impossible. And that is a big part of what keeps this game so much fun, the sheer insanity of it all.

Goat Simulator jetpack

One of the three maps was introduced as free dlc and added actual objectives to the area. It is an MMO simulator where you start of by picking your class be it Mage, Rouge and even play as a Microwave along with a few other classes. Each class has their own unique attack and there is a leveling system. Leveling up does near nothing and doesn’t really matter since you can’t die. There is an inventory system in which you can carry around any object even other characters for later use. This map is very different than the rest as if features elves along with other magical races. The main theme of it is to take part in the long lasting and brutal war between sheep and goats. Though you do not have to take part in anything and can simply mess around like every other map. One thing I would like to mention is how awesome the chat room in this map is.

Goat Simulator MMO

Graphics are pretty nice as the game is running on the Unreal 3 Engine. Music is very silly and off beat which I imagine would be either love it or hate it type of soundtrack. Physics are over the top and very fun to watch fly around though you may occasionally get your head stuck in objects and watching a goat climb a ladder is equally terrifying and hilarious. It features full controller support and up to four player local coop which is always a blast. Steam Workshop is also integrated into this title allowing you to download new maps, powers and even game-modes such as pinball. There is no blood, gore or even strong language. The most adult joke in this game that I have seen is the no phallic shaped food sign I mentioned earlier. It may be a pretty good title to play with your children since there is 4 player coop and no deaths, only fun.

Goat Simulator in space

It is pretty buggy though nothing game-breaking, mostly just the physics spazzing out and objects being sent flying by the slightest touch. A score system is in place which you can increase by landing jumps and pretty much doing anything at all. It does nothing and is there just for the heck of it. You can not swim instead you glide along the water like a skipping stone until you reach land again. There are secrets in the water so don’t write it off as an annoyance. The NPCs in this game are dumb as rocks and will occasionally get themselves injured though they always get back up. Simply tripping a person sends the community into a panic as they run around screaming due to a goat tripping a man. They have pretty short memories and will usually go back to dancing or whatever they happened to be doing before the goat so rudely tripped someone and is now over there, licking a bicycle. That fiend.

Goat Simulator lick

Overall this is a very strange title to recommend. It is fun for some and boring for others. I personally love it as it reminds me of the days of playing Tony Hawk’s freeskate mode with a friend and just jumping over cars and performing insane tricks with no pesky timer only you, a mate and a entire city to cause chaos in. On the other hand I can see why people wouldn’t like it as you are just thrown into the world with no objective, story or challenge to be found anywhere. This is definitely the type of game for those of us that spend our youth crashing toy cars instead of racing them, completely ignoring the missions in Grand Theft Auto or were watching action movies while everyone else was still watching Disney. If you fit any of those or just found the contents of this review interesting this game is likely for you.



Hello, I'm Benito Marroquin aka somebody336, the guy with the most generic username possible. I review games for the fun of it and love what I do. I'm fluent in both Spanish and English. And I love listening to Hatsune Mi.... I mean heavy metal, yeah, that's it.

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