Spermination is a First Person Racing game that feels very similar to Space Sim genre as you can add lasers, ion cannons and thrusters to your sperm. You start off with a rather weak laser, no armor and a sub-par engine but by collecting floating money icons as you race through either the mouth or vagina, you will be able to upgrade your sperm for the next race. Be warned though, those additions to your sperm will only last a single race and you will start with nothing the next race regardless if you win or lose, so it may be best not to overspend on a single race. For each race won you will either create a monstrous looking baby or simply be swallowed. You don’t really get anything for winning other than raising your percentage of successful emissions that will eventually unlock some more upgrades to equip. Each race generates a entirely new map featuring different layouts, different turret placement and strangely enough different vaginal wall colors like blue, green and orange, making you wonder what this dude is having sex with.
Unfortunately even though the maps are different each time, they feel very much the same and don’t really feel like they were made with racing in mind due to most of the map just being a straight wide line. It makes sense I suppose, but realism is not really a thing in this game and random turret placement does not help to differentiate one race from another. There are power ups in this game, including health pick ups to repair your sperm and an energy overcharge which allows you to shoot or use your abilities indefinitely for a short amount of time. They are randomly generated throughout the course and are far too numerous. The courses are far too littered with power-ups making it so you can keep getting the overcharge power up every few seconds and simply breezing through the game. One other annoyance is that you can not crash in this game. If you plunge into a wall you will either go through it or be instantly teleported to the location before you crashed. Feels like a missed opportunity for some tense racing moments, like when the walls narrow and changes direction it makes it so all the racers are in tight quarters, so it would be pretty awesome to see some of them crash while trying to avoid one anothers weapon fire.
Thankfully you don’t have to be holding down the forward key all throughout the race, as you can let it go whenever you want and the sperm continues moving forward, allowing you to focus on shooting at any direction. Imagine if the classic title “Asteroids” was in first person and you should have a spot on mental image of this feature. The race begins with one thousand sperm cells but that number will quickly dwindle as they are quite aggressive and will start blasting each other immediately. It is a pretty impressive sight seeing one thousand sperm sells flying all over the place, shooting at one another but their numbers are far too great to make it viable to win via shooting them down so it may be best to simply focus on those shooting you and be on your way. You can equip your sperm with heavier armor to take more damage but that in turn will make you slower so it may not be worth it for those that prefer speed. There is only one lap so you can’t simply kill enemies and wait to pounce on those in the lead when they overlap you. This is primarily a racing game so don’t expect something like Carmageddon.
Spermination does feature rubber-banding AI. They are quite found of suddenly zooming past you when you are a few meters from the egg. Turrets are also far more likely to immediately target you and ignore the competition. This is counteracted by them not being able to use power-ups, so you do have an advantage over them. Turrets become a much graver threat the deeper in you go and it adds some strategy as you may find being in first place will make you more likely to be killed. A nice little touch is that enemies all have different weapons equipped making combat feel a lot more satisfying as you will obviously want to deal with the shotgun like “spread shot” differently than the last sperm that had a puny laser. On the other hand no matter what weapon you have, your enemies will die in one hit, making your weapons feel a lot less diverse. There are one thousand racers you have to contend with but having a few actually use the equip-able armor would be a good solution. All your money comes from power-ups and you do not gain anything from winning other than unlocking a few more additions to buy for your sperm after a unspecified amount of wins. So winning gets you more items, items are purchased by money gathered around the stage and items are lost after each race. It is a endless cycle that gets old fast.
In case any one was wondering it does not have any nudity, you just hear a grunt and away you go into the randomly selected orifice. Visually it is no looker but it serves it’s purpose, all though all text in the game is covered with ugly blue splotches after an update. Music consists of this weird techno music which fits in rather well surprisingly enough. There is only one song for the main menu and one for the actual gameplay so it does get a bit worn out eventually. Other than playing the game the only other thing there is to do is to look through a collection of all your hideous babies for your viewing pleasure. If this was some kind of plot to convince people to use protection, it most certainly is a good way to educate them on the very real dangers of going in unprepared. And by that I mean you’ll need lasers to scavenge that wasteland of all it’s cash pickups and come out rich, or die trying. As you can no doubt tell, Spermination has a very odd concept for a game and it does offer some rather fun gameplay but has very little lasting appeal. It is sold for a rather small price and I do feel it offers enough novelty and fun to recommend to those looking for a short game with enough weirdness as to make your friends question your sanity.
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