Cursed Pantsu (R18+) Review

Cursed Pantsu is a 3D Action Platformer set in a seemingly endless mall. Our character, Kaori, finds herself in these dream-like landscapes after stealing a pair of panties. Just as confused as we are by these odd events, she has little time to gather her senses and is soon set upon by the faceless inhabitants that roam this place. It is no bluff. You’ll be dead within seconds if you don’t get a move on. This intro sets the tone of what to expect. As silly as the title Cursed Pantsu sounds, it will require immense focus to see your journey through to the end. Only 6.1% of people have reached the finale, according to Steam’s achievements.

After that narrow escape from death, we are met with an unexpected ally who has been wandering this mall for four days already. Her name is Akari, and she is understandably desperate to find a way out. All too quick to trust, she will tag along for the rest of the game. Her role is that of a guide to hint at what the player should do next. Akari also doubles as a save point, which makes seeing her a real blessing with how difficult this title becomes. As for more direct ways of helping you, there are none. She never moves an inch and teleports to the next destination you see her in. It feels artificial and nullifies any genuine connection to her outside of cutscenes.

There are several variants of the faceless foes you encounter. Some may use guns, others sprint toward you, and a few are immobile. Whatever the situation is, we solve them with our fists. It makes the intro a tad misleading. You technically can run from most encounters, but that will return to haunt you as you enter boss fights under-leveled. Fighting is heavily encouraged since it wastes no time teaching you how after that intro. We have a block, dodge roll, and two equipable special abilities. For our basic attacks, we have two buttons that result in combos depending on how we press them. They are all governed by a stamina system to counter us spamming or endlessly rolling around the floor.

Or that was the intention, at least. It wasn’t until the final boss fight I felt limited by the stamina meter. This primarily comes down to how long the enemy’s windup is and how hard they telegraph any attack. Simply take a few steps back, wait, and continue your offensive. Defeating them nets you experience points to level up your stats or learn new abilities. These can range from new combos to new special abilities. Regarding the latter, they all use money as an attack, of which you have a limited amount. The gameplay quickly loses its appeal once you notice all foes soon respawn. There is always something to fight, which was a mistake for this simplistic and often unrefined combat.

As much as we’ve discussed the Action side, Platforming offers most of the challenge. Enemies aren’t too dangerous, but vending machines flinging soda cans as you try to make a jump? That’s enough to make even a grown man cry. Consider yourself lucky if all that happens is you lose a few minutes of progress as you find yourself on a lower floor again. Most falls will cause your death and send you back to the last checkpoint. These death pits make up the majority of the difficulty. Those random bouts of fire streaming out of the floor or electric fences are more of an attritional threat that directly damages HP. It is far wiser to face third-degree burns and heal it with a refreshing can of soda than to risk falling off an edge. As a side note, slaying an enemy heals you for 10HP, so that’s where combat feels more than welcome.

Ideally, a large focus was to be on collecting clothes. These are found in giant green boxes scattered around a level that tempts one to explore. I was surprised by how few clothing items there were, having read the store page and assuming this was a more fleshed-out feature. Most of what you find is simply money. That makes risking life and limb a tougher bargain than it otherwise would be. The cutscenes will only show your character in the default bunny shirt as well. Given the mall setting, it needs to do more with the theme. No weapons allowed to us other than our fists, not enough uses for our money, and a severe lack of environmental usage. For example, enemies can walk through fire traps and all other hazards without harm. It lacks player agency.

Cursed Pantsu shows more creativity with its environments later on. I loved the brief amusement park theme and wish it did more to break up the monotony of nonsensical mall layouts with a purple hue. It did try to accomplish this by splattering AI art everywhere. Much of them felt out of place, yet I shudder to think how this game would be without them. Think of AI as you will, but it would be worse not to have them as landmarks. Stages become large and have little else to visually distinguish themselves. However, there is no denying they need to do far better at integrating them into the environment. At least make them look like posters rather than obvious PNG textures overlaying a wall.

This brings us to the hentai aspect. Kaori’s clothes rip as she takes more damage and is entirely in the nude upon death. As her body ragdolls away, the in-game camera will be fixed at the exact spot where she met her end. It makes it incredibly difficult to get a good look at the nudity and the level restarts soon after. You’d have to take a quick picture, open it up in some photo editing software, and zoom in as if investigating a crime scene. I’m curious why the developer made this an Adult game if that’s all there is in terms of H content. I’d wager that limited his sales by quite a bit to little benefit. The rest of Cursed Pantsu is relatively tame. If you’ve ever owned a PS Vita, you wouldn’t bat an eye on what occurs here. Heck, the entire reason I bought it was because it reminded me of Akiba’s Beat.

Perhaps the biggest flaw comes from how suddenly it ends. You learn nothing and accomplish even less. Nowhere on the Steam Page did it say this was episodic or hint that it could feel incomplete. It had a surprisingly lengthy five-hour play length with no closure. Spending all that time searching for a key to unlock a certain exit, the tough platforming, and the ceaseless combat all felt hollow in the end. Cursed Pantsu has value in the ‘rage platformer’ subgenre. Its controls felt decent enough that I wanted to keep trying not to let this hellish mall defeat me. The Achilles heel here is that it stretched its limited gameplay mechanics and incentives too far. I respect the ambition of trying so much with a title priced at seven dollars, but Cursed Pantsu is hard to recommend.

Rating:

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