NSFW – Not a Simulator For Working Review

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Not a Simulator For Working is what can best be described as a Stealth game. Your enemies are your coworkers, your objective is to watch porn without being caught, and only your wits can get you through this perilous plight that is his life. We start off as an intern on a seven-day job trial to get adjusted to the office life and game mechanics. If it’s not clear by now, we are not here to work. Our intention is to make good use of our free internet and go straight to the seedy sections of the net when there are no peering eyes around. You’ve got to hone your senses to accomplish this sacred mission. Sharpen your ears to any incoming footsteps and be ready to click off your prono via right-clicking at a moment’s notice.

This title is entirely controlled with the mouse. It doesn’t matter where you right-click either, your cursor can be anywhere on screen should you need to hide your hentai. There are no second chances. You get caught and its over, you are now fired. All that really means is that you have to do that day over, yet all the progress you’ve made to get through your 9 to 5 job has just disappeared into thin air. The days do go by rather fast thankfully, so its never too big a deal. These first seven days are simple, you just got to worry about your coworker’s movement. They may walk across the screen, but it is possible they may have forgotten something and immediately head back across the office. Even if the monitor is facing away from them, our character is a real chad. He sets his speakers to max volume when watching porn, making it easier to discover his kinky past time to anyone near.

You see that guy that looks like he’s about to swan dive out of an office window? He is your main threat. After a few days, he will concoct a program to check what the employees are up to on their PCs. It is vital that you talk to him when given a chance to find out when it will occur. It is completely random. One day it may boot up at 11 AM while the next at 4 PM. Even when failing the day and reliving it, this will be randomized. It is an instant game over if you are caught watching your naughty videos by this program that pops up without warning. And watch random smut online you will. Your character will quite literally die if you spend too long working and not looking at kinky stuff that will most likely be unexplainable to plebs not into.. whatever in the world are in those videos. You know it’s some good stuff when even I am deeply disturbed by what I have seen.

Before we know it, we’ll be a full-fledged employee once those seven days are up. That is when you’ll unlock the second of the total three OS options on your computer and where the real game begins. As a proud employee of this company, you are given Picmail, a crummy drawing program. Any other pieces of software needed to create spreadsheets, video editing, or even a writing program will have to come out of your wallet. That vastly limits what you can do initially, but that may be for the best. Every other program has a mini-game associated to them. You will no longer just be staring idly at the screen when working. They range from catching hearts, pong, and a game of snake. All have nothing to do with what you are working on, yet if you want those big bucks, you should play them. It is just a form of extra income, you don’t have to participate in any mini-game and can just ignore it if you so choose.

There are two types of currency. Silver is earned by working and used to buy different software for work. Gold, on the other hand, is earned by watching porn and can be used to buy more porn. Porn will eventually feature mini-games as well after the first default video. They are the same as when working, you’ll be playing pong and the like. You can earn extra income to buy shadier, more expensive videos by playing them, yet it can be risky. The main point of the game is not to get caught. That is a bit more difficult when you are focused on playing a Galaga like mini-game, and the room is filled up with moaning when you do well. With the mixture of loud keyboard sounds when working and loud moaning when stroking, it can be easy to forget about your coworkers. Not to mention that random program that will bust you immediately if you don’t chat with the cripplingly depressed IT guy for a clue when it will activate.

It is worth mentioning that this is not an adult game. There is no nudity. This is just an over-the-top parody of workplace Pornhub browsing, a well respected worldwide tradition. Or so I say. Some of the videos here are really bordering on actually being NSFW with their amounts of bodily fluids that would put most hentai bukkake scenes to shame. There are a ton of videos to unlock. Watching the sheer insanity that occurs in them is one of the most enjoyable parts of this title. Having to frantically click out of them when a coworker approaches and have to rewatch it from the beginning only for it to happen again can be emotionally devastating. Worse still is when they decide to stand there and talk to you as you stare back with what can only be called barely held back disdain for the poor bloke. This is the type of man/woman this game will turn you into, and it is hilarious.

I spent quite a bit of time grinning ear to ear while playing NSFW. Its cheeky sense of humor really carries the simplistic gameplay. The fact that you need to read emails from your insane boss to know if he has set any crazy rules for the day is highly entertaining. It includes stuff like him saying that you don’t look like you have enough fun at work, look happier, or you’re fired. That essentially means that you should spend more time watching porn that day than actually working or you’ll lose. He doesn’t know what your sole source of happiness is though, so don’t let him catch you ‘having fun’. So what is the end goal of the game, and how do you get that final third OS? Well, it’s to max out your relationship with all your coworkers. How you do so depends on the person. Some people like the janitors will like you more if you don’t socialize with them, while people like the IT guy will be thrilled if you talk to him, even if you only want to know when that evil program of his will run again.

The game does not state that this is the goal. Buying all the programs or getting through the days doesn’t matter at all. Worse still is that you have no clue when a person is happy with something. Your best bet is to check their relationship with you before the day starts in a quite unintuitive menu, and then wonder what you did right if it does go up. I’ve read in the forums that doing jobs for people will get their fondness of you up. That may be true for some of these people, but not for others. The only way to get Diesel’s up, for example, is to let him catch you watching porn. I would never have thought of that given it goes against the entire premise of the game. It takes far too long to get everyone’s relationship up, much longer than the gameplay or humor can keep its appeal. Nonetheless, I plowed on through until I maxed all but one of them out. I have no clue what Amber wants and could not find an answer online. It does kind of invalidate the whole review if I didn’t even finish it, but what can one do.

That whole relationship system was not well implemented, in my opinion. All it gains you is that person’s sex tape, which are typically both traumatizing and chuckle-worthy. It’s a real shame I ended NSFW completely bored out of my mind, this silly little title has a lot going for it. Trying to micromanage various simple tasks while being on the lookout for any wandering eyes that could ruin your happy time had little right being as intense and engaging as it was. Honestly, don’t let the score I’m about to give it dissuade you much from trying this game. If you go in without any expectations of being able to get to the end, you’ll likely have a grand old time. It is a novel idea that is pulled off well and has a brilliant sense of humor to boot, even if marred with a glaring issue that drags the experience down a notch or two.

Rating:
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