Sponge Massacre is a 3D horror game parodying the similarly named cartoon Spongebob Squarepants. It sees us play as a police officer that is investigating Spongebob’s pineapple residence after having received disturbing reports concerning him. The Bikini Bottom police force has his house surrounded and seemingly unwilling to come out; we are sent inside to arrest him. By ourselves. Yeah, I’m betting that our colleagues don’t like us very much and are banking on us being smacked to death by a spatula or something.
We are far from defenseless, having possession of a pistol with infinite ammo. That fact doesn’t make the situation any less tense once we work up the nerve to enter his eerie house. Our first immediate view is of the kitchen area, in where we find a locked door and the objective of this game. To unlock this door, we’ll need to scour the entire house in search of seven Krabby Patties. Oh, joy. Turning back from this dead end, I return to the living room and go down a hallway. I am immediately reminded why after nearly six years of running this website, there is not one horror game review. Needless to say, I unloaded my pistol like crazy in true American fashion.
The sponged fiend does go down in a single shot, but that is heavily dependent on how each encounter is scripted. Most of the time, he can’t be killed, but at the same time can’t harm you either. The slight possibility that he could kill us this time makes shooting him a few dozen times an irresistible prospect, nonetheless. Spongebob won’t show up randomly as you explore, which does impact some of the tension once you discover that. It doesn’t focus much on giving players a challenge, instead opting to let the oppressive atmosphere speak for itself. If you do manage to get caught by the sponge boi, then that is game over, and the game shuts itself down.
A good part of this immersion is due to there being no hud elements on the screen. It’s just you, and a none obstructed view into this oddly creepy house. I haven’t watched this show in about two decades, so I’ve no idea how close it follows the layout or look of the cartoon. Back onto the subject of lacking a hud, this also means that the player has to memorize how many Krabby Patties they’ve picked up. It uses this aspect in a really cool way, without spoiling much more. This entire experience can be beaten in around ten minutes. It is not a lengthy title by any means, so giving anything away can be more detrimental than usual.
Several of the show’s characters make their appearance in this short time span. The first one we meet is Gary, who looks to be about as dead as the Slenderman trend. It is interesting seeing which characters received the Epstein treatment as you wonder if the funny spangeman is about to get the jump on you too. Sponge Massacre is a ‘pay what you want’ game on Itchio, meaning we can pay the dev absolutely nothing or put his/her kids through college to flex how rich we are. Joking aside, he makes it clear on the store page it is a free fan project, and any payments are just to support him in general. It is a silly little experience that was enjoyable even for someone that doesn’t particularly care about the Spongebob franchise. Sponge Massacre won’t win any awards or be a title you will likely play again, but for the price of free, this silly yet oddly effective horror title is well worth a download.
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