Super Flower Squadron Honey Ranger is a 2D beat ’em up starring the Pink Ranger. The plot revolves around trying to rescue ‘The Professor’ from the middle of an enemy base, and us being the sole ranger to successfully infiltrate it. That’s all there is to the plot, with all of it told right from the get-go. It focuses far more on the 2D gameplay of Pink Ranger walking right through the base and knocking out any villain who dare crosses her path.
Booting up the title, we are greeted with an amazing theme song for its opening. Heading over to the options menu, you’ll see a level select screen and difficulty options. I’d recommend leaving it on Easy your first time through as this is not an easy title, despite its simplicity. Pink Ranger has two attacks at her disposal. One is a kick, while the other is a punch. There is little to no difference between them. They both have the same range and inflict the same damage. I did find that kicking had a slightly faster animation, however.
There are no additional inputs aside from attacking and moving around. You can press the E key to switch to a gamepad, though it will have to be Dinput. An Xbox controller will not work with this game. Even if you’d never used a keyboard for this type of game, you’ll get used to it very soon. This is a slow-paced game. Movement is quite sluggish, so you won’t be able to dodge attacks reliably, and your own attacks have a long animation to them. It has more to do with methodical timing than button mashing your way to victory.
As you slowly move your thicc self over to the right of the screen, more enemies will spawn in. There are only three different variants to contend with. Two of them are humanoids and mostly the same, while the last is a dinosaur that pounces all over the place. None of them should be taken lightly. If they manage to touch you, that’s it, you are done for. You only get six lives to get through each of the ten levels, eleven stages if you are on Hard. Dying only sets you back to where you were defeated, with the foe that did you in now permanently gone.
The most crucial thing to learn in the gameplay is your attack range and the hitboxes. It is a good idea to know when you can launch an attack, or otherwise you’ll find that it didn’t reach and leave you vulnerable for a good while. This knowledge will be the difference of victory or death when facing the dinosaur foe that lunges toward you. If you miss your first shot, you likely won’t get another chance against him. Your hitbox is also pretty massive. Even if it looks like you should have been clear of an enemy attack, the game may think differently and register it anyways. With how slow your movement is, it won’t help you much when being swarmed. Timing your punches or kicks is everything in this title. No special moves, no blocks, and no second chances are found here.
An oddity with your attacks is that they will still do damage after the initial impact. As an example, you throw a punch and an enemy walks into your outstretched arm afterward. That will still count as a full hit, making it a pretty handy thing to learn. Saying this has ten levels makes it sound like a lengthy adventure. It is not. You’ll be able to bare-knuckle your way right towards the ending in about twenty minutes or less. That is if you can come to grips with the gameplay and the moderate challenge it provides your first time through. Really late into the game, there will be a fourth enemy to face, which I’ll leave you to discover on your own.
By now, you’d likely have noticed the timer and text on the bottom left of these pictures. That has to do with the TV styled atheistic of this title. It tries to make it look as if this was something that aired back in the day, ala the Power Rangers as it is known in the West. Each level you clear slowly pushes it past nine o clock, with nine and a half being its end. Whenever you lose a life, it will also make it look like they cut off the broadcast as things happen which are not exactly PG. Remember, this is a hentai game. Defeat in this means Pink Ranger is sexually abused.
There are a handful of animations depending on the enemy variant that defeated you. In total, there are eight of them and four CGs. You can view them at any time from the Gallery Mode, even if it is your first time booting the game up. Most of the content here is not vanilla. Most instances of sex involve a large amount of urine, so it may not be something you’d enjoy. The animation is decent enough, though there are very few frames, making it feel a tad on the choppy side. CGs on the other hand are pretty well drawn. No complaints there.
On the topic of art, there are only two bland backgrounds throughout the entire experience. That, in combination with little enemy variety and the short playtime, causes this title to hardly feel worth the 13 US dollar price tag. It doesn’t even have an ending, you’ll find that it just cuts to a green screen saying ‘the broadcast has been cut’ for all your troubles getting to that point. Within the TV theme of leaving you hanging to want to find out what happens next, it makes sense, but as a 13 dollar game that just feels unsatisfying to the extreme. I wouldn’t call this a bad game, it just lacks the content the be able to recommend it. From the gameplay, backgrounds, and the hentai, it is all lacking. For whatever reason you find yourself attracted to this title, you will likely find yourself left wanting.
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